For the last 20 minutes, while I waited for my bus, I watched quietly as every single bloke who drove by turned their head and looked over the cute 15ish year old girl with sunglasses who sat beside me. She was clearly aware and hiding her discomfort. Now there was a lot of traffic, so [...]

Catching the late night bus, Past 12 am – Only on a Saturday night. Dreaming of my bed. Stupid cunt, that’s why Australia is the way it is, because of people like you. Fucking mole. I didn’t realise mole was still an insult. I’m on the bus. I’m not drunk. Soon I’ll be home.

Buying my concession ticket – Old mate theatre going public, Getting dirty in my behind. ‘Good one mate’ – when I’m done. His wife agrees, on that one. Sorry i’ll be quicker next time.

Hot chicks flirt with me – I show my dimpled glee. Wearing my artist pass, No harm can come to pass – There’s her boyfriend Oh shit run.

BackPacker Weirdo Lying in my bunk bed – with a cooling breeze blowing my head – wishing it was one of the hot swedish backpackers who surround me – trying not to get a bone – knowing I’ll fail – waiting for the chinese guy to stop hitting on the chinese girl – hoping he’ll [...]

1. People don’t have anything interesting to say (I realise my hypocrisy – oh golly); 2. If I want to listen to people verbally masturbate I’ve got myself; 3. No one i know ever gets their kit off; 4. All that clicking ‘like this’ hurts my wrist; 5. It’s time more usefully spent with one’s [...]

Watching opening ceremony of the winter olympics last night and few things struck me as strange… 1. How normal it feels to see people flying through the air (ever since Soul 1988). 2. How stunning digital projection on a massive canvas can look. 3. How not weird it felt to see a bunch of canadians [...]

Are scars just for blokes? I’m sitting on a bus and the girl in front of me has as many as a dozen fat scars across her back from moles being cut out. On a bloke I wouldn’t think twice … blokes have scars … So why aren’t chicks able to make the mistake of [...]

So stupid Gen-Y made up words annoy me as much as anyone. So it is with with a little trepidation, and at the risk of appearing a fool, I explain. It seems after some two years of failing to improve my coffee making ability – suddenly, and against all reason – I’ve had a striking [...]